Invisible

It's hard to think you're not needed anymore.  I know there are people out there who will always need someone to talk to, but it's hard when people who have previously turned to you for so much suddenly have no need for you anymore.  And then, there's the reverse of that.  There are those people who may not know exactly what's going on in your head, and yet, they feel as though they need to tell you what to do.  I don't know if that makes any sense, I'm not even sure if it makes any sense to me.  

Today has been a rough day.  I know these days come more and more frequently, but that doesn't make them any easier to handle.  Just when I let myself start to have a good day, something happens and I just get brought down all over again.  No, I don't know exactly what I want to do with my life.  Yes, I am a 23 year old who is homesick.  I don't think I'm behind the times, I think I'm human, and I really wish some people would just let me be.  I think a lot of this indecisiveness comes from my past.  I am always afraid to fail, and I've always been that way, but I think these feelings are hurting me now more than ever.  I wish I didn't feel this way, but unfortunately, there are some things that can't be changed.  I am so afraid to fail at whatever I do, that I can't bring myself to commit to anything.  I guess if I don't make any decisions, I'm not exactly failing.  I'll have plenty of time for that down the road, so is it so wrong to try to delay that feeling as much as possible?  Again, I don't really know if all that I'm saying even makes sense.  I'll probably read this tomorrow and wonder what I was thinking, but I guess this post just stems from my day.  All jumbled, just like my brain is right now!  Ha....

Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day....KG